Falling forward: “After surviving failure you've got great stories to share”
“Are you tired of listening to never-ending-success-stories and feel like you might be the only one with certain problems? We, humans, pay so much attention to the best of the best that we don’t know what to do when we’re part of “the rest”. While reading these sentences, did you recognize yourself and thought ‘This is so right! I have a story of a study-experience that not went to plan’. Now is your chance to help these others yourself.”
With these words, we started our article two newsletters ago. In the meantime, four brave students responded to this outreach, wanting to open up on their own failures, helping to create a culture that celebrates trying instead of stigmatizing failure. And so, these four International Studies students told their stories at our ‘Failing Forward’ event that took place 10th February, connected to the student well-being weeks.
‘Failing is disappointment’
Before opening up, the audience of 30 other students, was asked to share their very first association with failure. Not surprisingly, associations like ‘not good enough’, ‘disappointment’ and ‘bad’ were shared.
Next to the quite negative associations, there’s also an ‘opportunity to grow’ somewhere in the web. This is interesting, since we probably all knów that you can only learn from failing as a person. There are plenty of cheesy quotes about it (‘What doesn’t kill you…’). So if we only learn from trying, how come we tend not to share such perhaps not so glamorous stories? Ór we only share failures of the past when you are already very successful in the present…. ‘Easy for you to say’
Chaos and procrastination or creativity and improvisation
Each of our student speakers spoke to the audience about what did not really go to plan during their studies. Topics were ranging from quitting multiple Bachelor programmes, to not feeling prepared for University after high school, to mental ánd physical health problems. Especially during Corona times, many of us are struggling. Whether it is with daily structuring, feelings of loneliness, motivational problems or just feeling ‘sluggish’. As one of our speakers said :‘We are so used to failing to put our self first. Do the things your enjoy and use your time to learn where your limits are. Even if that means you fail sometimes, and go over them’.
Another one of our speakers spoke about experiencing mental chaos, that proves to be not so be beneficial for studying. It can lead to procrastination and therefore perhaps failing courses. What motived her to go on? Truly being interested in the material! ‘Me being slightly chaotic, does not mean I don’t find the courses interesting. It just takes a bit longer. Interestingly, the benefits of this all is that I’m very creative and have great improvisation skills. I can just give a presentation without preparing!’
‘It is okay not to know how to study well’
Even though the event had to take place in an online setting, this might have even been quite benevolent after all. Many comments from the audience caused great interaction with the speakers, and someone even said she would not have joined if it would not have been online. This small hour hopefully contributed, even in the slightest bit to realizing that without failing and trying, you would just be standing still. This only tastes for more, so let’s continue on sharing our stories!
Also feeling a bit lost these days? These final words of one of our speakers are a must read:
“One thing I want to make clear to you is, it is okay not to know how to study well and not to have a plan for the future, and to be insecure about upcoming choices. In my opinion, it makes people more interesting if they haven’t found their way in life yet. It makes people want to try new things and be more excited about new situations. I want to believe that feeling down is part of the process in getting where you should be in life and overcoming the struggles is just another thing we all need to learn, including me.”